Dad pesters his half-unconscious wife with a 104-degree fever, asking her how to get their 4 kids ready for bed: 'I just snapped and told him to figure it out on his own'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Oct 9, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

There's nothing worse than getting sick when you have small children. If you get sick when you're childfree and can take a couple of sick days off work, it obviously still feels horrible, but at least you can focus your attention on actually getting better. Even if you're a parent to older kids, they can make their own lunches, get on the school bus, and do their homework by themselves for the 48 hours it would take for you to recover from a nasty bug. But if you have a high fever, body aches, and a sore throat, and you have a couple of toddlers running around, you're going to have a miserable time recovering. It's moments like those when it's so important to have a competent and loving partner who will help you take care of the kids when you're so sick you can barely stand up for more than a minute. 

Every parent should know how to take good care of their kids when the other parent is not around. It should not take an emergency to find out your kid's bedtime or how they like their eggs cooked. 

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  • Woman with a cold and high fever
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The dad in this story is a mess. He saw his wife looking unwell, throwing up, passing out, and needing to go to the hospital, and thought that was a good time to ask her exactly how he was supposed to prepare their kids for bedtime.

  • Am I wrong for calling my friends husband useless?

    My best friend and her husband have 4 kids, 8f, 6f, 4f, and 3f. My friend's husband is a great dad when someone is there to help. When he's alone with all 4 kids he gets overwhelmed and freezes.
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • A few weeks ago my friend was sick so I brought over dinner. We thought it was just a bad cold. When we were eating, my friend went to the bathroom and the 3 year old followed her. 3 year old came running out saying her mom was throwing up. All of the kids ran to the bathroom, followed by me and my friend's husband.
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • I helped her clean up while her husband went to get her nausea medicine and a thermometer. When he came back I asked him to get the kids out of the bathroom so she could have some space. After we got the kids out, I took her temp and it came
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • back at almost 104, so I went out to get her some Tylenol and water. I get back and the kids are all in the bathroom again because their dad can't keep them away from the bathroom for 2 minutes.
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • I give her the Tylenol and water and she almost immediately starts to vomit again, then passes out. Her husband just stood there while I was trying to get her into recovery position, get the kids away from her, and call 911.
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • I managed to get all of them out of the bathroom and her husband is coming back every 20 seconds asking if I can call their nanny to help with the kids, if I can go to the hospital with her, did I start the dishwasher or does he need to hand wash the youngest's sippy cup, etc.
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • A little girl in a high chair drinking out of a sippy cup
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • When my friend regained consciousness, he even started asking her how to do bedtime for the little ones, did she wash their pajamas yet, did they get screen time that day or can he put on a movie. I told him his wife couldn't hold his hand right now and he just had to figure it out. He told
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • me he's not usually the one that deals with this and he's trying his best, then goes back to asking what stories the kids like, what setting does he put the sound machine on, and how do they like their milk. I just snapped and told him to figure it out on his own and called him a useless piece of sh..
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • Woman with brown hair screaming
    via engin akyurt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It's been nearly a month and he still acts all pissy when I stop by the house. My friend says he'll get over it but my boyfriend thinks I was unnecessarily r de and he was trying his best.
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • AITA for calling him a useless sh when he couldn't handle his own kids while his wife was experiencing a medical emergency?
    via u/aitauselessdad
  • Traditional_Bench655 NTA. Wife unconscious, he's asking about bedtime stories and sippy cups. Sometimes harsh truth is needed.
    via u/Traditional_Bench655
  • Sakuzelda NTA. He froze in an actual emergency. Bedtime routines can wait when someone's passing out.
    via u/Sakuzelda
  • LippiPongstocking He didn't freeze. Pretty sure he's never had to be a parent before. I'm 100% certain he'd call himself a 'great dad' without ever having 'looked after' the children without relying on his partner to do most of the mental, emotional and physical work.
    via u/LippiPongstocking
  • openeyes808 Pretty sure he calls it "babysitting" when he has to watch his own kids.
    via u/openeyes808
  • Stormtomcat He reminds me of a guy who posted last year. That OOP also thought he was a great dad, "involved and present" with his kids, until he fought with his wife & she snapped that she was fed up and wouldn't manage him like another toddler anymore.
    via u/Stormtomcat
  • ⚫ the bedtime he was so "present for and involved with"? turns out that he *knew* it was his wife telling to run to go get daddy for 5 bedtime stories, so he'd send the kid back with "no one story" till they settled on 3 stories. And of course, after the fight she didn't send the kid to his home office man cave & oops, he just sat there as the kids' bedtime came and went, all surprised that he was in fact not present and involved
    via u/Stormtomcat
  • • he *knew* on which days his daughter had ballet class after school, but when his wife didn't text him a reminder to pick up their daughter, he just drove home from work & was surprised to see his wife pulling in with their daughter in the back seat
    via u/Stormtomcat
  • • instead of prepping breakfast the night before and waking him up to do the morning run with the kids, she just got up and did it herself. He woke up from hearing the kids & was surprised everyone was already 80% through their routine. He wanted to catch up & bundle the kids into his car, but they started crying that they wanted their mom to do it.
    via u/Stormtomcat
  • At least in that OOP, it all came to light during a fight, and not in a medical emergency. I still feel our OP here is 100*100% justified with a useless piece of ... (I got a warning that I can't quote the insult in full). Like, the kids were panicking from seeing their mother vomit and collapse. Why does he think they need a "business as usual" bedtime story?
    via u/Stormtomcat
  • Jackniferuby Doesn't have anything to do with parenting. He is an idiot. I was completely capable of helping my friend with her children despite having no siblings and not having children yet. It's BASIC problem solving. You wife is passed out from illness. Keep the freaking KiDS away from her- not only to give her peace but guess who the h I will be sick next?! Also the asking about dumb stuff in the middle of all this? HI yeah I would have done more than small at him - even afterward if he was
    via u/Jackniferuby
  • InterestingTry5190 That is my thought too he is embarrassed he had no idea what to do in an actual emergency and the wife is so lucky OP was there and such a good friend. The fact he was worried about pjs and screen time shows he was not meeting the moment. I am sure this is a man who prides himself on taking care of the family including his wife yet didn't know where to start when he was really needed. OP only highlighted that by being cool under pressure and giving clear instructions (that he
    via u/InterestingTry5190
  • Starletlvyy Exactly! that wasn't "freezing," that was complete helplessness. Emergencies reveal who actually knows how to step up, and he clearly didn't.
    via u/Starletlvyy
  • Visual-Lobster6625 The kids could have answered most of his questions as well - stories, screen time, milk, pyjamas, etc.
    via u/Visual-Lobster6625

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family drama kids hospital flu fever friends wife bad parenting sickness parenting husband dad family sick mom Parenting Fail children Parenting FAILS
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